A reason to live
by AntoShepherd
Summary: Post LMR:Meredith and Derek had to deal with what's happened between them during the prom, but then something tragic happens and everything could be lost forever. LAST CHAPTER IS FINALLY UP!
1. Chapter 1

Hi everyone! This is my second Meredith/Derek fan fiction. I had this idea this summer and I decided to use it for a story…..I really want to know what you think, if it worth writing, so reviews, please!

P.S. (I'm sorry if there's some mistake…I'm Italian, not English!)

A reason to live

Chapter 1: Life is strange

Meredith Grey have had bad days….a lot of bad days, actually.

There was the one when she discovered her mom had Alzheimer, the one when Addison Shepherd showed up ruining her life, the one when Derek didn't choose her and decided to try with his wife, the one when she met her father's new family…..the one when Derek called her a whore was pretty awful too. Those days she had cried, she had been very sad and broken. But she had never wished she hadn't been born…..at least until that night.

That night Meredith was hating herself so badly…..it was exclusively her fault if the man she loved more than life itself could die. She really wished she hadn't been born.

-Meredith? Meredith you should go home-

She lifted her head and saw Cristina who was looking at her concerned. This was so not Cristina: every time she was miserable Cristina had never looked at her with pity or something like that, she had always told her she wasn't the only one with problems and she had to move on. But now she was looking at her in a completely new way: she was worried, Cristina Yang was actually worried for her and wasn't try to hide it. This meant she really had to look like crap…..a completely mess.

- I don't want to go home, it's the last thing I want to do, actually- she finally answered to her friend. Her voice was barely audible and it sounded so broken…..Cristina sighed and sat down next to her.

- You still have your prom dress on and your face is dirty because of the mascara. I've never seen you so tired. You have to go home- she tried to convince her.

- No, I can't, I have to be here…..if he wakes up…..I have to be here-

- Ok, if you want to stay then stay. I'll call George and I'll ask him to bring you some clothes-

- It's not necessary-

- He has to come anyway, Meredith. He had to work……we all have to work here, you too. It could help you to distract yourself-

- I don't want to distract myself! I'm the reason Derek could die, I just…..I just want him to wake up. He's going to wake up, right?-

Cristina didn't know what to say. She wasn't the kind of doctor who choose not to tell the entirely truth to make people feel better. She always said the truth, no matter how horrible this truth could be. But now everything was different: Burke was really hurt and she felt anything but cold. Then there had been Danny's death and now Derek…..plus, now she wasn't talking to a patient's relative, but to Meredith, her very broken best friend. She couldn't tell her that she thought the love of her life could never wake up again. So she chose to change the subject.

- Tell me what's happened-

- What?-

- I was thinking I don't know what has exactly happened. Do you want to tell me?-

Meredith didn't seem so sure

- C'mon, Meredith, it could help you-

Meredith nodded – Ok-

- Ok, tell me, I'm listening-

Meredith sighed – I….Derek and I…we had sex tonight-

- What?- asked Cristina, her voice louder than she have intended.

- Yeah, you understood well, you don't need yelling-

- Sorry. Go on-

- We didn't mean to…..but we had a fight and he said things which made me feel…. I don't know….and he kept looking at me, so it's just happened-

- Meredith, calm down. You don't have to explain, not to me anyway-

- Ok. So we had…you know, we had sex….really great sex. And then Danny died and Finn wanted to take me home, but I didn't know what to do, if talking with Derek or going home with Finn. I was just standing there like an idiot-

- So, what's happened next?-

FLASHBACK

- Meredith?-

- Meredith?-

That had to be a nightmare, definitely. She refused to think that was reality……her life was already so complicated, how could have she been so stupid and sleeping with a married man? With Derek…..the Derek who had broken her and called her a whore……She should have thought of those things before doing what she had done. Instead she had thought that she loved him how she had never loved anyone in her all life and she wanted to be with him, despite all the crap he had put her trough. She had kissed him back, she had let him touch her….she had wished that moment was endless. But unfortunately the end had come and now she had to choose. She didn't know how, but she had to.

- Meredith, what's going on?- asked Finn, a look of disbelieve on his face.

- Meredith, we need to talk- said Derek.

_Oh, God…_

- I have to go home- was all she managed to say.

- Yeah, I told you I'll take you home- said Finn

- No, I need to go home alone-

- Why?- Finn was getting agitated.

Derek leaned to her – Meredith, please, talk to me. You can't just go home after what's happened tonight-

- Meredith, what is he talking about? - asked Finn.

- Finn, I'll call you tomorrow, I promise, but now I need to be alone, ok?-

Finn didn't seem all that happy, but he nodded.

Without saying anything to Derek, Meredith turned and walked away.

- Meredith!- he called and tried to go after her, but Finn stopped him.

- She said she wants to be alone-

- I heard- said Derek giving him a killer look…..he wanted to punch him so much, but he couldn't: Meredith would have gotten angry and that was the last thing he wanted. So he decided to ignore him and go after Meredith.

- You have to let her alone, man. You're married and I can make her happy- said Finn while he was going away, but Derek didn't even turned around to reply, he just kept walking…..the only thing he was concerned about was Meredith.

He was lucky: she hadn't gone home again, she was sitting on a bench outside the hospital.

He watched her for a moment: she looked so little and damaged, but she was still so beautiful.

- Meredith- he said putting an hand on her shoulder.

She shivered, he could tell that. – You're shivering, Mer- he said.

She didn't looked up at him…she couldn't bare his gaze, not right now. Derek sat down next to her and put his jacket on her shoulder. – You could get sick, it's cold-

Meredith finally looked at him…..she could smell his scent and feel his warmth in his jacket….the remember of what they have done was still so vivid and he was so close….she knew if she kept staying there with him she would do something wrong again and she didn't want that.

- Yu know, Derek…I'm not shivering for the cold……I'm shivering because of you- she said before getting up and walking away.

Of course Derek followed her – Meredith!-

- You know what? You have to stop this…..quit following me!- she said without stop walking.

- I can't!- he stopped her – I can't- he repeated.

- Derek…let me go-

- No, we have to talk about tonight-

- There's nothing to talking about-

- Nothing? You call it nothing? Meredith what we did tonight was anything but nothing!-

- What we did was totally wrong! You have a wife, you remember that? You chose her over me, you broke my heart after I told you how much I loved you, and now you tell me she isn't the one who drive you crazy? No Derek, I'm sorry, you can't do this. I'm with Finn now, he's the perfect guy and I'm going to be with him-

Derek wanted to yell…..he felt he was losing her, and he couldn't let it happen.

- So why did you make love with me? Why if you're so happy with that Finn?-

He couldn't ask her that, he just couldn't…..she didn't know what to say.

- I've been weak…I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…-

- Are you trying to tell me it was just a mistake?-

Meredith kept staring her feet…..how she had to answer to that question? She couldn't tell him the truth, but she didn't want to lie neither.

- Derek, please…-

- Meredith- he lifted her chin – Look into my eyes and tell me it was just a mistake, tell me it didn't mean anything to you and I swear I'll let you alone, I'll let you live your life with Finn. But before doing this, I need you to tell me it's what you really want.-

She felt her eyes getting fill with tears…..she couldn't do it, she couldn't look into his eyes and lie. What she really wanted was being with him, but she couldn't…..he was married, he had broken her…there was too much damage.

- Meredith?- he whispered

- I'm sorry- she said and ran away.

Derek sighed…..he had to let her alone, at least for that night. But while he was thinking of that, he noticed Meredith falling in the middle of the street, while a car was running fast towards her.

- Meredith!- he yelled with the horror in his voice.

Meredith didn't have the time to realize what was happening, she just felt someone grabbing her and pulling her away from where she was. Then she heard a long beep and the noise of a crash. She lifted her head and saw the car running away. She had a strange feeling…..she immediately started looking for who had saved her and she saw him: Derek was lying in the street, unconscious, dirty and most important, he was losing blood.

Meredith yelled like she had never did in her all life, and ran towards him.

- Derek! Oh my God, Derek!- she said kneeling next to him. He didn't give any sign of life, his breath was difficult.

- Derek, please! You can't do this to me! Derek!- she said between tears. She was a doctor, she should have known what to do, but she just felt paralyzed.

- What the hell is going on here?- asked Bailey running towards them with Webber and two nurses: Meredith's yells had been heard from who where in the hall of the hospital.

- What's happened, Grey?-

Meredith seemed to have forgotten how to speak.

- Grey! Meredith!-

END FLASHBACK

Meredith quitted talking….the remember of Derek lying there, lifeless, made her sick. She started sobbing violently.

- Meredith…- Cristina was uncomfortable in situation like that. She didn't know how to act.

- I'm sorry, but I can't help it- said Meredith.

- It's ok- said Cristina and put her hand on Meredith's shoulder. That was all she was able to do…she wasn't into the whole hug thing.

- He saved my life, Cristina…..he saved me and now he could die. How could I keep living if he's not? How could I? And how could have he been so stupid to think I would want to live without him?- Meredith said trying to pull away her tears with her hands.

- Meredith, are you mad at him? How can you be mad at him now?-

- He's a jerk! He should have let me die-

- Are you crazy? Stop saying these things or I'm going to kick your ass!-

- Cristina…-

- No, Meredith, I'm deadly serious! You don't have to think you should have died, you don't! If Derek heard you, he would be furious and this time I would be on his side! He saved your life, Meredith, he did it for a reason….he cares about you, he's an asshole, ok, you know I don't like him that much, but despite everything, he cares about you. He wouldn't want to listen to you talking like this-

Meredith looked at Cristina speechless: she had never defended Derek, it seemed so awkward…..but she was right.

- I'm sorry, Cristina….it's just a bad time-

- Why don't you go to him?- Cristina asked

- Addison is with him.

Addison…..Cristina have almost forgotten her.

. I have to go now….can I let you alone?-

- Sure-

- Fine….I'll see you later- she stood up and give a glance in the direction of Meredith before going away.

Meredith felt she was getting crazy: she needed him to wale up and tell her everything's going to be ok. She wanted to hear his voice, watch his beautiful blue eyes, feel his warmth…..she suddenly realized she hadn't Derek's jacket on anymore: she had to lose it when….she didn't want to think of that moment again. She went outside the hospital looking for it and she found it easily. She put it on and felt immediately Derek on her skin…..few hours earlier they were making love and now he could die. Life was so strange….so unfair.

She sat down the same bench where she was sitting with Derek earlier and started to cry.


	2. I need to be next to you

Author's note: so this is the second chapter! It's been kind of hard writing this and I really need to know what you think of it. Unfortunately I don't have so much time to write, so if you want me to update soon, review! The more reviews I get, the faster I write. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 2: I need to be next to you

A few hours later, even if she was a mess, Meredith was working. She wasn't a Derek's relative, she had no excuse not to do her job. _Addison_ was his wife, she wasn't. _Addison_ could be with him waiting for him to wake up, she couldn't. She had no right to be outside his room crying, now she understood it. But still….

Her mind said to her all of that, but her heart felt he would want her to be next to him….she wanted to be next to him.

So, without realizing it, she was going into his room. Obviously, Addison was there. Stupid, stupid heart…she had to begin to ignore it.

- Meredith- Addison said simply when she saw her. She was sitting near Derek's bed an was holding his hand.

Meredith bit her lower lip: she was uncomfortable.

- How is he?- she asked simply.

- The same-

Meredith watched Derek: he was so…..lifeless. Seeing him like that broke her heart.

_It's my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault._

She couldn't stop thinking it….Derek could never wake up again and it would be he fault.

- Meredith, are you ok? - asked Addison.

Perfect. She should have asked her it…Addison was the wife there.

- I'm fine…I'm just worried for him- she said. God, that answer was so reductive…..she wasn't just worried, she was scared like hell.

- They told me you were with him when….you know- said Addison.

Meredith nodded uncomfortable.

- How did it happen?-

_Shit._

What was she suppose to say? _"Your husband could die because he saved me_"

_Perfect, really perfect._

- I'm so sorry Addison…-

Ok, she was really stupid…..she couldn't find a more stupid way to start the sentence.

Addison was looking at her questioningly.

- I was the one who was going to be the victim of the incident. Derek saved me- Meredith explained.

Addison laughed…..she was _laughing._ Meredith couldn't believe it.

- Addison…-

- It's always about you- said Addison

- What?-

- Everything's about you, always. Everything Derek does…..and now he's in a hospital bed fighting to live and I find out is because you. Even _that._-

- Addison I feel horrible, you have to believe me. I know it's my fault…I know. I would give my life if it was necessary to wake him up!- she said with wide eyes.

- I know that, I know you still love him-

- No, it's not like this…-

- Of course it is. You love Derek, I've always known it. But the thing is…I don't care….I don't care, Meredith. I'm tired of being afraid of losing him because of you, I'm so tired. _I_ am Derek's wife, you're just his ex mistress. So, do me a favour: stay away from him-

Meredith fought to keep herself from crying. She just nodded and walked away.

The worst thing was that Addison was right…..and even if Derek had had sex with her and wanted to talk about it, the truth was he hadn't left his wife.

She wasn't anyone…..nevertheless she loved him so much.

Her mobile phone rang. She saw the number: it was Finn's. She didn't know if answer, she hadn't acted so well with him the day before…

**FLASHBACK**

Ten minutes after Derek was been brought in the ER, Meredith walked into the hospital. She had felt paralyzed after the incident, so she had stayed outside. But now she had to go to him, she had to make sure he was going to be alright.

- Meredith!- : it was Finn

- Not now, Finn. Derek's had an accident, I have to check on him- she said without quit walking.

- I know, I saw while they were taking him inside…..I'll come with you-.

They immediately found him: when something happens to the most popular doctor in the hospital, everybody know it.

Meredith felt sick: the situation seemed very bad.

- He lost too much blood! He needs blood _now_! Where the hell is it?- asked Webber.

- It is arriving, Chief- said Bailey.

- But there's no time! They have to hurry up!-

Meredith was freaking out, seriously. She had to do something, she couldn't just stay there and watch him die.

- He can have my blood – she said.

- What? Meredith…- Finn tried to protest, but Meredith ignored him.

- Are you insane, Grey? You can't do this- said Bailey

- Why not? He needs blood and I can give him it, I belong to the blood group 0, I can give blood to anyone-

- But Meredith, the blood is arriving…- began the Chief but Meredith cut him off.

- You said he can't wait! I don't care what you two say, I won't let him die!- she yelled……she had lost her self-control.

- Grey, listen to me: he needs too much blood, you can't give him as much blood as he needs. It's dangerous, you know that- said Bailey trying to make her reasoning, but it was useless.

- Doctor Webber, he's crashing!- said a nurse.

- Derek! Oh my God-

- Take her out! Out, Grey!- yelled Webber.

Finn grabbed Meredith's arm and took her out. – Don't touch me!- protested Meredith

- Meredith, you have to calm down….-

- And you have to go-

- But…-

- Go away Finn….please I…I need to be alone-

Finn nodded – If it's what you want…-

- It is-

Finn walked away while a nurse arrived with the blood for Derek.

She was so scared….she wanted to know what was happening, but they didn't let her in.

- Meredith! Meredith, where is Derek?-

It was Addison, they have obviously called her. She was scared, Meredith could tell that.

- He's in there, he…- Addison didn't stay to hear the end of the sentence, she immediately went to him. Meredith wished she was her so badly in that moment…..Derek was fighting for his life and all she could do was wait. It sucked, seriously.

**END FLASHBACK**

Meredith sighed and answered – Hello?-

- Meredith….I'm Finn-

- Hi- was all she managed to say.

- I just wanted to know how Derek is-

- He's not so fine…..he in a coma- Even just say it hurt her.

- I'm so sorry Meredith….-

- I know you are. Finn, I wanted to apologize for how I acted yesterday….-

- You don't have to...Derek could die and you were scared.-

- Yeah…I was….I am- she was sick of denying her feelings…..it was too much.

Finn was silent for a while – Finn? Are you still there?-

- I don't have chances, right?-

- What?-

- You love him, don't you? So I don't have a chance with you- he sounded so sad….Meredith was really sorry, but she couldn't stay with him after what was happened the last night. Nothing seemed important anymore except for Derek.

- I do love him, you're right. I'm sorry, Finn, I didn't mean to hurt you….-

- Stop….seriously Meredith, this isn't necessary-

- Ok-

- So….I wish we hadn't break up on cell phone, but what it's done it's done, so…- said Finn

- Goodbye Finn-

- Goodbye Meredith-

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAG

At 2:00 a.m., even if her shift was over five hours earlier, Meredith was still in the hospital: she couldn't let herself leaving that building. She couldn't be in Derek's room because Addison was there, and she had been very clear: she didn't want her around Derek. But she didn't care: Addison couldn't detain her to be in the hospital. It wasn't exactly how to be in Derek's room, but was still something: if he needed her, she would be there.

She was doing her post-op when she saw Addison went in the bathroom. A voice in her head was telling her she could go to Derek and another voice was telling her she couldn't. Of course she listened to the first voice. She knew Addison could be back in any moment, but she really doesn't care: she had to see him.

She went into the room and sat down on the bed. She took Derek's hand and squeezed it.

- I don't know if you can hear me, but I need to talk to you. Yeah, I know that yesterday you was the one who wanted to talk and I was the one who didn't want to listen, so if was awake you could send me away, but you're not awake so….- she stopped for a moment and caressed his face.

- I miss you…you've been like this for only a day and I already miss you. The thing is…since you left me, I've always missed you in many ways. God it's so complicated between us…..it's a mess, Derek. But the truth is….I don't care anymore. I just want you to wake up. Then we could talk all the time you want, but please Derek, wake up….open your eyes and look at me like only you do. Yesterday I told you to stop looking at me, well I've changed my mind. I want you to look at me, I want it. Open your eyes and look at me Derek, please-

She waited for a moment, like she expected her words really worked and wake him….but he didn't wake up.

She bit her lower lip and let tears fall down her cheeks. She kissed his hand, then let her head rest on his chest.

- You're unbelievable, Meredith, have you realized that?- Addison was back.

Meredith stood up: - Addison please, let me be here, let me be next to him-

- I thought I had been clear, but maybe I was wrong-

- Addison….-

- I will be next to Derek, he doesn't need you-

- But…..-

- Stop it! How can you ask to a wife to let his husband in coma with his ex mistress? You can't do that! I want to be alone with him, go away- said Addison

Meredith nodded: - You're right, I'm sorry. I'm going away-

- Well-

- you just tell me if there's any change? Please…-

Addison sighed – I will-

Meredith smiled slightly – Thank you- she said and walked away.

Addison sat down and sighed again. She felt guilty because, deep inside, she knew that her husband wanted Meredith Grey next to him.


	3. The reason

Author's note: This is the third chapter! I'm very exited about it, I think it's quite good. I hope you'll enjoy it! Review, please!

P.S. thank you so much for the previous reviews!

Chapter 3: The reason

- C'mon Mer, come here!- Derek begged her. She was getting ready to go to work while he was still in her bed.

- I can't, I have round at 6, and now it's 5-

- This means you still have an hour!-

- I don't want to be late…..Bailey already hates me-

- She doesn't hate you-

- Of course she does! Are you blind? She doesn't like the fact I'm sleeping with her boss-

Derek grabbed her from behind and attracted her near him. – Derek!-

- Shout up, I want to kiss you- he said and kissed her deeply

- This is not fair…- Meredith said pulling away – You can't corrupt me like this-

- Yeah, I can –

She smiled and placed a quick kiss on his lips.

- Meredith, if you think you can't handle Bailey, we can end this relationship. I mean, I don't want to, God knows it, but I don't want you to be in trouble as well-

- Are you trying to get rid of me?-

- No! No, Mer believe me-

- I know, I was making fun of you- she laughed

- You, little witch!- exclaimed Derek and positioned himself on the top of her – You have to be punished- he kissed her neck

- Derek….- she moaned.

He kissed her nose and then her lips while he was making his way under her shirt.

- Derek…- she moaned louder.

- I like when you say my name like this-

- I know - she put a hand between his hair and pulled him towards her to kiss him.

- Wait, just a moment- he said

- What?-

- You didn't answer my question-

At the beginning Meredith didn't get, but then she did and rolled her eyes – Do you think I want to end us? I just want you to kiss me, jerk!-

Derek smiled – Well, this is what I wanted to hear- he said and kissed her. He felt so incredible happy…..she was all he needed.

But suddenly Meredith wasn't with him anymore and he realized that was just a remember, a beautiful remember. He was asleep and wasn't able to wake up. He wanted it so much, but he couldn't. He needed Meredith, he wanted to see her face, he wanted to touch her…..

- Derek….honey open your eyes-

God, that was her voice? Yeah, it had to…the only voice he wanted to hear was hers.

- Derek, can you hear me?-

He had to wake up….he had to, for her.

- Meredith…-

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAG

Addison was so tired….Derek has been in come for five days and she had rarely left the hospital. She wasn't the only one, actually: Meredith was always there. She didn't go into Derek's room anymore, but she was always in the hospital, even if she couldn't see him. Addison felt guilty and this drove her crazy: she was doing what every wife on that planet would do, so why did she feel guilty? It felt like Meredith had the right to be next to Derek and she hadn't, how stupid was that?

She took Derek's hand: she did it a lot those days.

- Derek….honey open your eyes-

She felt his hand move….God, he was waking up!

- Derek, can you hear me?-

- Meredith…-

Addison froze: he had said _her_ name. She had been next to him for five days and the first thing he had said was _her_ name.

Derek partially opened his eyes. He seemed confused, he wasn't still completely awake.

- Meredith…- he repeated her name squeezing Addison's hand. She didn't know why, but she kept being silent.

- You're here….God, I'm so happy you're here-

Addison felt so frustrated….he really thought she was Meredith.

- I'm sorry Meredith, for everything. I know I hurt you and I feel horrible for that….I shouldn't have left you, it was a mistake-

Addison felt she was about to cry and she didn't want to.

- I need you…..I need to feel you…- he tried to lift his arm to caressing what he thought was Meredith's cheek, but he was still too weak.

- You have to be quiet, Derek. You're still weak…now I'll call Richard-

Derek squeezed his eyes: something was wrong…..that wasn't Meredith.

- Addison?-

- Yeah, I am Addison- she said simply.

Derek closed his eyes, his head hurt.

- Addie…- he wanted to apologize,but he really didn't know how.

- Don't, this isn't the right time for explanations. Like I said, I have to call Richard-

Derek felt he didn't remember something important.

- I…I feel confused-

- It' normal. Wait, I'll be back in a moment- Addison said and was about to leaving the room when Derek remembered: Meredith, the car crash….God, he didn't know if she was ok.

- Addison!-

She turned back – Yeah?-

- How….how's Meredith? Is she ok?- he asked.

Addison knew the most important thing was he was fine, but she couldn't help but be mad at him: she was always his only thought.

- Yes, she's fine. According to what I heard, you saved her- she said and went out.

Derek let a sight of relief out: she was fine, for once he did something good.

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAG

Meredith was doing her post- op: she ha had a lot of time for doing it lately.

She was exhausted….she really need to sleep, but she couldn't. Every time she closed her eyes she saw Derek lying in the street.

- Have you heard? Doc McDreamy is awake!-

Maybe she had hallucinations… have she really heard someone saying it?

- Seriously? Thank God, I thought I would die!-

No, she hadn't hallucinations. Two nurses were really talking about it.

- Can you repeat what you've said? – she asked to the nurses.

They looked at Meredith confused.

- Dc Shepherd is awake?- she asked

- Yes, he is-

Meredith smiled and ran towards Derek's room. It was empty, except for him who was in his bad, his eyes closed. Was he really awake?

- Derek?- she called.

He opened his eyes and in the moment their eyes met they both smiled.

- You're really awake- she said.

- Yeah, I am-

Meredith was still near the door. She was so overwhelmed that she didn't know what to do.

- Meredith, come here- said Derek.

Meredith sat down next to him – I…I am so happy you're fine….cause you're fine, right?- she asked worried.

- Now that you're here I'm more than fine-

Meredith blushed – Derek…..you saved my life…I'll never thank you enough for that-

- You don't have to. I'm the idiot who made you cry…..you can do anything but thank me-

- Derek….-

- No, let me talk, please-

Meredith nodded.

- When I was in coma I dreamt of you, all the time. I dreamt of the time we were happy….God, I haven't been so happy since then. The reason I woke up, is you-

- Me?-

- Yeah, you. I wanted to wake up so badly because I wanted to see you. You're the reason because I live-

Meredith smiled between tears: he was alive and he said she was the reason…she couldn't be happier.

- Hey….don't cry- he said caressing he cheek.

- I cry because I'm happy. You know, I felt so responsible for this…I hated myself-

- It wasn't you fault, Meredith. I don't want you to be guilty, ok?-

Meredith nodded – Ok-

Derek smiled and stroked her hair – Would you do a thing for me?- he asked.

- Of course-

- Give me a kiss-

She smiled and was about to do it, but Richard, Bailey and Addison went into the room.

Meredith stood up immediately.

- Derek! It's so good to see you awake!- said Richard.

Derek smiled slightly.

Addison looked at Meredith – I'm sorry…I'm going away- Meredith told her and went out. She had almost forgotten about Addison….but the truth was she didn't care right now: Derek was fine, that was the important thing.


	4. The perfect moment to say I love you

Author's Note: I'm soooo sorry! I know It's been a long since my last update, but I've been very busy! I hope you're still interesting in this story because this is the last chapter and I really want to know what you think of it! I should have written another two chapter, but I don't have much time and I'm planning another story. But hopefully you'll like the end! Thank you for reading this….and review, please!

Chapter 4: The perfect moment to say "I love you"

Derek has been awake for three days: he was still into the hospital but he was getting better….physically, at least. He was in a horrible mood. Meredith hadn't come back to visit him since the day he woke up. He had thought things would get better, but she was clearly still mad at him. Maybe she was still seeing Finn….he couldn't stand that thought.

- Is something wrong?- he heard Addison ask him. He had barely noticed her presence.

- Everything's ok-

- Yeah, sure- she said in a sarcastic tone.

- Addison, please….-

- No, Derek, I think it's time to discuss about the fact that you're in love with Meredith-

Derek sighed – What do you want me to say? I'm sorry, I really wanted to rebuild our marriage, I wanted it, Addie….but let's face the reality….it's impossible. There's too much damage….and yes, it's true, I love Meredith….I can't help it-

- Perfect….at least you've said the truth…finally- Addison said trying to sound calm…but she was upset, Derek could see it.

- If it makes feel you better, I think it's too late….I think I lost her- he said sadly.

- And why do you think this?-

- Because I haven't seen her for three days….I assume she's mad at me and, you know, there's the vet-

Addison couldn't help but laugh

-Why are you laughing?-he asked

- You're so stupid, Derek-

- What?-

- You heard well, you're stupid. I shouldn't tell you what I'm going to say because I'm angry and hurt…but God, you're too stupid, I have to tell you: Meredith loves you, she probably loves you more than I love you. She wanted to give you her blood…she didn't care about her, she just wanted you to be fine. She had never left the hospital while you were in coma. If this isn't love I really don't know how to call it-

Derek didn't know what to say: Meredith had done all that for him and she didn't even told him. God, she was amazing…..and he loves her so much. He realized he had never told her it….he had to tell her…he wanted to.

- When you'll be better we'll started the practises for the divorce- Addison said and then was about to leave when Derek told her: -Thank you, Addie…thank you-

She smiled slightly to him and left.

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAG

- I hate the She-Shepherd, I hate her!- said out aloud Alex after he had enjoyed Meredith at her table.

- You're still in the vagina squad?- Meredith asked biting her sandwiches

- Yeah, why do you think I'm so pissed off?-

- I'm not her greatest fan too- Meredith mumbled.

Alex smiled – Yeah, I can see it. How's Shepherd? Your Shepherd I mean-

- He's better….at least I heard so-

- Why? Haven't you seen him?-

- Once, when he woke up-

- But you then you haven't seen it again…why? God, don't tell me it's because of _her_!- said Alex.

- No!...Maybe-

- God, Meredith, are you afraid of her?- he asked laughing.

-Don't make fun of me! Yeah, maybe I am a little. Derek is her husband, she doesn't want me to see him. What can I do?-

- If you want I can distract her while you go to him- Alex proposed.

- No, no, it's too complicated…I'm tired of complicated things-

- Oh, no, she's coming!- said Alex

- Who's coming?-

- Dr Karev, you have to check on Mrs Patterson- it was Addison.

- But it's lunch time!- he protested

- Now!-

Alex grabbed his sandwiches and left. Addison sat down in front of Meredith.

- You should go to him- Addison said

- What?-

- Derek thinks you're still with Finn and you're not going to him because of it-

- Why are you telling me this?- Meredith asked confused.

- It's over between me and Derek-

- Oh…-

- Well, I told you, now you can do anything you want- Addison said and left.

Meredith couldn't believe it: she had really said it was over? Did it mean she could be with Derek?

She looked at her sandwiches and threw it away: she wasn't hungry anymore.

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAG

Meredith had thought of what Addison had told her all the day. Finally she decided to go to Derek after her shift.

She went in his room and he didn't seem to notice her. He was reading a book and seemed pretty much concentrate. God, he was so gorgeous!

- Hi- she said.

He lifted his gaze and saw her – Meredith- he smiled….she was finally there.

- You look much better….I'm glad- she said.

- And I'm glad you're here. I've missed you-

- I'm sorry…I wanted to come, really, but…I don't know, it was so strange with Addison here-

- Addison? It was about her? So…you and Finn….-

She sat down next to him – It's over-

Derek smiled again: - I'm sorry, I can't help but be happy-

Meredith smiled as well – It's ok because I can't help but be happy because you and Addison broke up-

- How do you….she told you, right?-

Meredith nodded – So, it's really over Derek?-

- Yeah, it is. I want to be with you, Mer. I won't ruin things this time…..give me another possibility, please- he pleaded her with both his voice and his eyes.

- You know…..last week I would probably said no. But then you had the accident…God I was so afraid of losing you- she started to cry.

- Hey, hey…- he hugged her – Shh, don't cry….don't cry, Mer, I'm fine now….it's ok-

- No, it's not! You could die….you could die and let me alone….I felt like I was dieing too-

He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head – I'm sorry I scared you- he said.

- You did…..you have to promise me you won't never do it again….you don't have to risk your life. Promise me Derek- she begged him looking into his eyes.

- I promise-

- Well….because I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I couldn't stand the idea of losing you…not again, not like that-

- Are you saying you'll give me another chance?- Derek asked hopefully.

- Yeah, I'm saying this-

- Oh, Mer…- he kissed her as long as he could.

- Wow, that was a really good kiss- said Meredith

Derek smiled and looked deeply at her – I love you-

Meredith smiled back and asked – Did I hear well?-

- You did. I wanted to tell you I love you in a very romantic place, in a very perfect moment…but I couldn't wait longer anymore. I love you…I love you so much Meredith-

She kissed him and when they pulled away she said – This is a perfect moment….and I love you too-

- You do?-

- Yeah, I really do-


End file.
